In the deserts of Arabia, there’s a saying: “A camel that learns to find its own well never dies of thirst.”
But a camel that waits at the same well—waiting for someone to bring the rope—won’t survive the long journey.
That, dear friends, is the picture of mentorship done right. And mentorship done wrong.
Let me speak plainly, from years of walking alongside new believers in the Middle East—most of whom came to Christ at great personal cost. When we mentor a new believer, our calling is not to tether them to our presence, our knowledge, or our spirituality. Our calling is to walk with them just long enough to help them hear the Shepherd’s voice for themselves.
Yet time and again, I’ve seen a common misstep, especially from well-meaning Western missionaries: we mentor for control rather than for release. We unintentionally create followers of us, not followers of Jesus.
Let me share a story.
Case Study: Samir’s First Steps
Samir (not his real name) came to faith in a closed country after years of questioning and dreams of the man in white. I walked with him closely—daily texts, weekly visits, Bible studies. For the first six months, it was intense. I was his only connection to another believer. I was his spiritual anchor.
But then I noticed something. When Samir was tempted, he texted me first—not prayed. When he had a question, he wouldn’t search Scripture—he’d ask me. When he had to make a decision, he didn’t fast—he waited to hear my opinion.
I had unknowingly become his priest.
That’s when I pulled back. Slowly, intentionally.
Instead of giving answers, I gave him questions.
Instead of praying for him, I invited him to pray with me.
Instead of deciding for him, I reminded him that the Holy Spirit is not a Western idea—it is God’s promise to every believer, Arab or American.
The shift was slow. Painful. He felt abandoned at first. But one year later, Samir now disciples others. He’s started a small prayer group. He hears God in the Word and obeys with joy. He learned to draw from the well himself.
That’s the goal. Always.
Principles for Releasing, Not Controlling
If you want to mentor a new believer without breeding dependency, keep these in mind:
1. Teach Access, Not Hierarchy
New believers in our region often come from highly hierarchical systems—religious leaders, family elders, and tribal authority. The temptation is strong to simply replace the old sheikh with a new one: you. Resist it. Emphasize the priesthood of all believers. Show them Scripture where Jesus invites direct access to the Father.
2. Embrace Silence and Questions
Don’t rush to fill every silence or answer every question. Train them to wrestle. Teach them to sit with Scripture and the Spirit. Jesus often responded to questions with deeper questions. So should we.
3. Model Suffering and Obedience, Not Just Theology
Mentorship in this region isn’t about knowledge alone. It’s about resilience. New believers don’t need a walking encyclopedia; they need a companion who shows them how to carry a cross and still sing.
4. Create Peer Circles, Not Pyramids
Don’t just disciple one person in a vacuum. Get them in a circle with others. Let them pray, learn, and even lead among equals. Community multiplies confidence.
5. Know When to Step Back
Sometimes the most Christlike thing you can do… is leave. Jesus left. Paul left. Withdrawal is not abandonment—it’s empowerment. If you’re still doing everything for them after a year, you may be building a fan club, not a disciple.
Mentorship in This Soil
In Middle Eastern soil, discipleship must be deeply relational, but never possessive. Mentorship must be spiritual, but never mystical. And above all, it must prepare the believer to stand when you are no longer standing beside them.
Because in this part of the world, the day will come when your visa expires, your presence is banned, or persecution isolates them.
And when that day comes, will they survive?
Or were they only ever drawing water from your well?
Let us train them to dig their own.
The Basin and Towel 