I once watched an English missionary ruin a potential friendship in under five minutes.
He had just arrived in the Middle East and was eager to meet new people. A local man welcomed him into his home, offering tea and conversation. But instead of settling in, this English man checked his watch, sipped his tea quickly, and said, “Thanks for having me! I don’t want to take up too much of your time.” Then, he stood up to leave.
His host smiled politely, but I could see the disappointment in his eyes. The guest thought he was being considerate. But to his host, it felt like rejection as if the guest had something more important to do than spending time together.
This is a mistake Westerners make all the time. In the Middle East, being in a hurry doesn’t just make you seem busy—it makes you seem uninterested.
If you rush through interactions, you’ll damage relationships without even realizing it. Here’s why.
1. Time Is About People, Not Schedules
In the West, time is treated like a resource—something to be managed, optimized, and saved. But in the Middle East, time is relational. It’s not about efficiency; it’s about presence.
If you act like you’re in a hurry, people won’t assume you’re just “busy.” They’ll assume they don’t matter to you.
What to do: Slow down. When you visit someone, stay for a while. Let conversations unfold naturally. The best moments happen after you were planning to leave.
2. ‘Small Talk’ Isn’t Small—It’s the Foundation of Trust
Westerners often see greetings and casual conversations as unnecessary formalities. They prefer to get to the point. But in the Middle East, these interactions are the point.
Before any real business, discussion, or request, there must be warmth, hospitality, and genuine connection. Skipping this process makes you seem distant—or worse, disrespectful.
What to do: Embrace small talk. Ask about family. Accept the tea. Invest in people first, and everything else will follow.
3. Leaving Too Soon Sends the Wrong Message
Westerners often think they’re being polite by not overstaying their welcome. But in the Middle East, leaving too quickly signals disinterest.
A quick visit suggests you’re treating the interaction as an obligation rather than a relationship. Staying longer shows that you want to be there, not just that you had to come.
What to do: When someone says, “Stay a little longer,” they mean it. Even if you have to leave, don’t rush out the door—ease into your departure.
4. Rushing Kills the Beauty of Middle Eastern Hospitality
Hospitality is sacred in Middle Eastern culture. It’s a way of showing honor, love, and respect. But hospitality takes time—and when guests rush, they disrupt the experience.
When you’re invited for a meal, it’s not just about eating—it’s about connection. The meal isn’t over when the food is gone; it’s over when everyone has enjoyed enough conversation, laughter, and tea.
What to do: Accept hospitality fully. Don’t eat and run. Savor the moment, because that’s where real connection happens.
Final Thought: Being Present Matters More Than Being on Time
Westerners often pride themselves on punctuality and efficiency. But in the Middle East, relationships thrive on something deeper—unhurried presence.
If you rush, people will feel it. They may smile and be polite, but they will know that your heart is somewhere else. And in a culture built on deep relationships, nothing damages trust faster than the feeling that someone is too busy for you.
So next time you’re in the Middle East, take your time. Not just because it’s expected—but because it’s worth it.
The Basin and Towel 